You Wish You Could, But You Just Can't

Hiya!!!
I'm here again bloggers...
You wish you could, but you just can't... Is that killing you? Well it IS killing me!!!
What the hell am i talking about???

Okay, have you got any dreams, goals, or obsessions that you really wish you could do, have, or whatever? Well, i have.
Other than the ability to sing well (i can sing alright in karaoke hahahaha, but not well), i really wish i could dance. 
Now what you're gonna do is saying, "You can learn to do it. Practice...and practice..." I'm so sorry, but that's not gonna happen because i can't.
The next best piece of advice is, "Well, it's all in your mind. Change the way you think about it. Be positive, have another point of view, blah blah balah..." Sorry, again... that won't work for me. Why am i so cynical? No, i'm not being cynical. I'm just being realistic... Okay, sarcastically realistic... Here's why:

It all goes back to my childhood. I didn't spend my childhood as a girl who spent time taking piano lesson or dancing. But, i didn't spend my time climbing trees or playing with the boys. No. I wasn't the girly type nor was i a tomboy girl. I loved the Me-Time compared to other kids. I didn't mind being alone. In fact, i hated it when people asked me. I guess i didn't like people treating me like a kid (hey, you were a KID for God's sake!) or people nosing on my "business". What an OLD kid i was, eh?
Sometimes, well, often times, my parents pinched me or stepped on my foot to give me signal that i HAD TO answer the questions. Yea, and the stubborn-born-to-be-rebelious girl ignored the signs every now and then. Oh, i was hard to handle... Dear God, should i have a kid of my own, please don't give me the Karma *finger crossed*. Coming from that kind of background, i never put any interests in dancing.

Not until the mid to late 90s, my Middle School time. It was the era of boybands. Yes, people... I listen to boybands, too! My favorite was 911. A British boyband consists of 3 cute (and smallish) lads. 

 I like them because their dancing is more unique than other boybands. They did break dance, too! And also, i would like to thank them. If it weren't for them, i would never be able to speak English. Oh, it was my nemesis, see. Couldn't stand a period of English at school back in the Middle School. 

Then, the era of boybands swifted into the era of...whatever... In the beginning of 2000s, there was this show on MTV: The Wade Robson Project. Wade Robson? Who the hell is that guy??? He is the little kid dancing next to Macaulay Culkin in Michael Jackson's Black or White video. That rings a bell? WADE ROBSON!!!! AAAHHH!!!! MARRY ME!!!!!

Okay, this sexy looking guy is a really great dancer. He's so effing hot!!! Well, i wished i could participate in this show.  He is influenced by His Majesty King of Pop Michael Jackson of course, and so are all dancers in the world, i assumed. Watching the show can do nothing about my dancing ability.  









Then, in 2003, during my college time and my working time at ELP, a small English institution (thanks to 911, again!), i met Mondang. A coworker-turned-out-a-senior-in-High-School. She loves dancing a great deal. She created a "routine" and i tell you what, it was awesome, and you can only envy us. Now, i sound like a bitchy fricking cheerleader, don't i? There were four of us, Mondang, Poppy, Nur and me, who practiced the routine after class. We used a song from a British (again?!) rising star at that time, Daniel Bedingfield called Gotta Get Thru' This.




Mondang, by my help, created the movements in about two weeks, with changes here and there and of course, to "train" us everytime she got new movements. Hey, how come i "helped" her?! Hahahaha, i lent her some video clips with dancing in them. Some movements were taken from 911's Nothing Stops the Rain video and Steps' After The Love Has Gone video. And yes, Steps is a pop group from Britain...
Long story short, i really loved that time, when i "worked" my a** off to get myself in line with other girlfriends of mine who have dance as their breakfast.


And, as i just finished watching a (WHAT?!) British series, Skins. I met this guy:

He is Mitch Hewer who potrays Maxxie, a gay teenage dancer. The picture above is taken from one of the episodes of Season 2. His first on screen dance was in the first episode of Season 1 when he was tap dancing as Tony, one of his fellas, called him. He talked on the phone while dancing. At that time, i didn't care for him. Because he looked like one of the High School Musical cast whose name escapes from my memory. Yup, guys... I watched HSM. And, nope, i didn't watch the HSM 2 and 3 in case you're wondering...
In episode 1 of Season 2, he was the "opening". He danced with other fellow dancers and WTF!!! Whoa! That's Fabulous!!! I f***ing love him!!! Besides having nice smile and puppy eyes (though i think he's too cute, too boyish, and too young *sob...sob i feel old...*), he's very athletic. Some guys would kill to have that kind of build, i think... And so... that "i-wish-i-could-dance" comes across my mind like an inspiration.


So now, you gotta think that i should just dance, just like Lady Gaga said. Well, what i mean by dance is like the dance to the music, not the monkey-meet-giraffe movements (don't ask!!!) i make everytime i listen to upbeat songs. 


And then, what is my problem anyway?
Well, i have a problem with balance. Huh? Come again?! I have bad balance. And that problem can be recognized from my eyes... Now, you wonder... What do you have in mind? 


I am near-sighted. And as one, it is imperative that i wear glasses or softlens for that matter. And yes, i do. I wear them. But, the minus of my right eye is higher by five points than that of my left eye. I was LMAO when the optician "diagnosed" me having what he called by "lazy-eye-syndrome". Whoa, that explains why i often tripped (and fell).
During my college years, i had this thing, i tripped so often that my friend Erlina tried to grab my arm everytime i had those "episodes". She would say, "Oh, my dear poor little baby, come walk with Mama..." Nice friend indeed, she is...


Once, there was this little girl. She walked to school with her Mom. Wearing the white and white uniform, she was ALL ready for assembly on Monday morning. Then, as "fate" was written for her (can you sense the cynical here?), she tripped on a rock and fell both knees first on the ground, then both elbows, and as if those weren't enough, she landed on her chin causing not only body injuries, but a big question mark. Yeah, her Mom a.k.a my Mom was wondering what was exactly wrong. Then she came to a conclusion and told me the story of lil' me...


My mom, a weirdly amusing woman, suggests that i didn't learn how to walk or run normally. Unlike regular kids, instead of walking or running, she claimed that "flying" was the closest-to-meaning word to describe what i did. She said i didn't stepped on the ground, but tiptoed and fled which usually resulted in gravity rules (read: i fell). Probably there is something wrong with my brain, hahahaha... Well, that's why i find it difficult to coordinate my body, let alone dance. Pathetic, huh?!


Well, one can only hope...


Thanks for reading this crap...
Hit me back, just to check
Surely yours, 
Lou