Well, isn't the title interesting??? Hahahahaha...
Okay, focus...focus...
Okay, now that i'm focused, i can start writing this so-called analysis. Hahaha, who am i to say that i "know" anything about human behaviour? But, here goes, i'm gonna "say" what i think i know. If you disagree or think that i'm wrong, go ahead, i'm here just to speak my mind.
And so, some (sweet) days went by. He was kind and full of dreams. And oh, he was religious, too. At least that what i think. I remember him saying "For real??" when i was about to pray. Dang! Nice one, bro! Cause i'm sassy too...
Sometimes, i cruelly "crushed" his dreams too. Because sometimes he spoke about some things that were too, umm, impossible. Ok, i'll rephrase it, some things infeasible. Well, i didn't mean to be so mean to him. Just thought that it would be much nicer to take a look around first then decide where you wanna be... or in short, think before you leap. That's all.
No, no, this doesn't end here...so please keep reading.
Okay, then i got a job in ILP and decided to quit from E**. So i left the place and you can say that i started my new life in 2006. So i only knew Yoga for 6 months. What i mean by "knew" here is we met 6 days a week for those damned months. After my life in ILP, we still met sometimes. Ok, translation = during Lebaran. Hehehehe... Yoga, with my friend Lya (who he kinda "looked up to" too) came by to visit me. Well, that's because i, uh, don't really care about visiting. So, if you want to visit me, go ahead. But i rarely visit my friends... hehehehehe...
Then, when he stopped visiting me, because Lya keeps visiting me, i started to wonder... I asked Lya whether he had changed his number, had finished his studies or whether he was so busy. Lya only explained that he didn't want to come or simply because he had "stuff" to do. Okay, part of my questions was only lip service, and the other part was a real question. Yea, i missed teasing him, too. Hahahaha... Before the "visits", Yoga often asked about how i was doing, my opinions, and so on. Well, guess that because of the "look-up-to-me" thingy. So the story stopped when he stopped visiting me.
Na-ah, the story continues, guys...How come?
Well, another friend of mine, Ara, visited me to ahem, introduce a slimming product which i-would-never-buy-unless-i'm-a-fricking-millionaire-cause-it's-so-damn-expensive. She said that it really works as she is the living proof. Still, i wasn't convinced. She mentioned Yoga. Yoga wasn't that fat, but he was kinda big. I remember him as a "bapak-bapak" despite his age (18, remember). She said that Yoga had a new look. Well, ok, that triggered me to ask about that naive guy again. Ara's reaction was like, you know, stop-asking-about-him-cause-he-didn't even-ask-about-you. Actually, i made that up. Hahahaha... Ara only mentioned him to assure me, that's all. So the story paused there...
It didn't continue. Not until last month, and this month too.. Well, last month Dilla, a friend of mine too, went to Palembang. She wrote that in her facebook status. That reminded me of rusip, a kind of weird food my daddy used to eat. The rusip thing brought me back to the memory of my daddy. So i asked Dilla to bring me some. When she got back to town, she said that i could have it for free. Long story short, i fleed to her house. We talked about the good old days. Because Dilla and i were some of the few first people back then in E**. And so our talk got into Yoga thing again. She said that he had changed a lot.
Me: Is it because he's getting thinner? Becase Ara came to offer that product. Hahahaha
Dilla: No, not only that one, he now has straight hair. (Yoga's hair is kinda wavy and bushy)
Me: Really? Well, that's kinda hard to imagine.
Dilla: He often talks on the phone "abnormally".
Me: Huh??? What do you mean?
Dilla: Well, if you talk on the phone, you talk on the phone. He doesn't really "talk on the phone", you know, like exagerrating (read: lebay!)
Me: Ah, does he talk in Mandarin? (I took Mandarin course back then and Yoga seemed so excited about that, last time i heard, he managed to pick up some Mandarin)
Dilla: Yes, he does. But i think he kids of shows off... (Dilla is a very honest and nice lady. I know her as a very straightforward person who never tells a lie)
From our conversation i concluded that Yoga indeed has changed. Yeah, people change, so get a life... That's none of my business, no?
Last week, Lya called me to arrange bukpusber this week. Well, today is the day. She wished people from the old times could get together. That includes Yoga, eh? But Lya said that she doubted that he would want to join us.
Me: Why?
Lya: You know, he has changed a lot.
Me: Yea, i got that from Mbak Dilla. She told me about the hair. Hahahaha
Lya: Well, you know. He had some injection.
Me: To be thin? I thought he had some products from Ara
Lya: No, to be white
Me: Get out of here!
Lya: He thinks he's Chinese.
Me: What do you mean?
Lya: You know, he thinks he's Chinese, not Indonesian. He even ordered glasses that wouldn't make his eyes bigger.
Uh-oh... now, i'm confused.
Lya: You remember how religious he was. Well, he isn't anymore.
Okay, now i'm confused.....
I told Thesi, my friend in XXX school about Yoga and his mindset of "being" a Chinese. Thesi said that he probably believes in reincarnation. He might believe that he was Chinese in the past. Well, i kinda believe in reincarnation too. I believe that i was a gay male. That's why i can understand some of my gay male friends well. If it's about belief, that is out of the question. Nobody understands unless they believe in the same thing too. I believe that dragons exist. So i think i'm gonna waste my time debating with those who don't believe.
One thing about reincarnation, if that really happens, i just think we have to redo what we did in the past. If you were Chinese in your past life and now you're born Indonesian, does it mean that you have to have self alteration so that you are who you were. Emm, imagine if i have to have a genital surgery, do hormon therapy to change myself into a male. And not only that, i need to find my "love" out there in this unfair world. See, that's the world. It's cruel and never fair. So what i have in mind is, "You live in a world where God has given you permission to." So, since you got the permission to live, just live. By thanking Him for whatever you have now.
I think what happens to Yoga is "self-loathing". He seems like he's unhappy with himself being Yoga. Maybe he is not happy with his hair, his skin, well his Yoga. I feel so sorry for him. I think happiness is very crucial. I wish he can find his happiness. But i pity him for doing so many things that made him not Yoga anymore.
Lya mentioned in her phone call that he might avoid me because he was afraid that i would judge him especially with his new look. Well, i won't judge without listening and analyzing. No, that won't happen. I regret not trying to keep in touch with him. Well, today, we're going to meet. I hope Yoga comes too.
Oooohhh God, this is long, eh? Thanks for reading
HIt me back, just to check
Surely yours
Lou
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